too much

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This post is going to have a lot of complaining in it. There isn’t any other way to say it. I haven’t written much because I feel as though all I have as of late are a series of complaints, but then again this blog wasn’t designed to share just the pretty in my life. It’s for the ugly as well.
Our trip to Dallas was a whirlwind, and we had a great time. But we were tired. The kids were tired. Gabe and I were tired. We needed a vacation after our vacation. But life resumes as usual and just as I was starting to feel like I was catching up and things were going back to normal, the plague hit.
Eddie came down with it first. Then Sam, and yesterday Gabe and Caleb finally caught the bug. So far, I am the only heathy one in the house. It starts with a runny nose and fever and seems to progress into a cough and to put it delicately…stomach issues.

This is also the week where I am trying to prepare the house for my absence. I am attending my sister’s wedding shower six hours away in Western Washington and I will be gone all weekend. This is the first time I’ve ever been away from my husband and kids…ever. So naturally, there is a lot of prep work to be done: cleaning, laundry, meal preparation, etc.. In other words, this was not the time to be dealing with three sick children. And to top it off, God only knows why, but I agreed to host the preschool co-op here on Friday, which has doubled in size.

I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed. I just want to sleep. Our neighbor dropped off ten pounds of pears on our back porch yesterday. She didn’t want them and said they would just rot at the base of the tree unless we took them. Despite knowing that I wouldn’t have time to do anything with them, I couldn’t bear to let them go to waste. This evening I started to peel the pears and wash the jars, because even though I knew I couldn’t possibly fit anything more on my plate right now, I decided I was going to spend the remainder of my night canning. Gabe walked into the kitchen and found me peeling pears, near tears with a sick, wailing two year old at my feet. “Just stop,” he said. “If we’ve allowed thousands of pounds of apples to rot on our property we can afford to let someone else’s pears go to waste. You don’t have time for this. You don’t need to do this.” He was right.  I need to let go. I can’t do it all. Now they sit on our back porch in the rain. Gabe will take some to work with him. The kids will eat some, and I will make some pear sauce for the co-op on Friday, Whatever we don’t eat will be thrown in the compost. I should be okay with it, but I’m not. Then again, I don’t have any other choice.

My knitting hasn’t progressed much. I have been designing a sock pattern in my head but the farthest I’ve gone is making some notes on a piece of paper and knitting half a swatch. I’m still working on a pair of self striping socks for Gabe, and the ease of it is oddly comforting right now. Mindless.  It’s what I need.

survival mode

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Joining Ginny and Nicole.

Feed the baby.

Run the dishwasher.

Change the toddler.

Text mom.

Transfer the clothes from the washer to the dryer.

Change the baby.

Did I feed the baby?

Hold the baby.

Feed the four year old.

Check the tomatoes in the garden.

Did the rabbit get through the fence again?

Did I fertilize?

I should blog. About what? You haven’t touched your knitting in four days.

Maybe I should learn embroidery.

That’s pretty much how my stream of consciousness has been lately.

I haven’t been much of a presence on here in the last two weeks. Too tired. Too busy. Typically I have a mother’s helper who comes twice a week so I can get things done around here: laundry, meal prep for the week, a bit of gardening, etc.. She’s been on vacation and boy, am I missing her.

We have been doing things around the farm here and there but for the most part I am in survival mode. Keep everyone fed, healthy, and (relatively) clean. Caleb has started sleeping through the night for the most part, only waking once to feed. The extra sleep has been helping but I feel like I could use three days of solid sleep before feeing like my old self. Such is life with children.

The doe with the twins has taken up residence in our orchard. We don’t have time to do much harvesting this year, so we figured since we don’t have time to eat the apples, we might as well let someone enjoy them.  The fawns no longer nurse and seem bigger everyday. Must be all that fresh fruit.

I’m still working on a pair of self striping socks for Eddie and plugging away on my Rosewater shawl. I’m itching for a new project but I don’t want to start anything until these two items are finished. We are going to be in Dallas for a week this month and I want to to bring the shawl with me to wear during the evening with dresses.

Yes, I took a photo of a deer going to the bathroom, because, well, why not? You’re welcome.

Happy Wednesday, friends.

Rosewater shawl and chickens 

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I have managed to find some time to pick up the Rosewater shawl here and there and I have finally hit the lace portion of the pattern. It’s not complicated at all, but it is lace so I try not to work on it when the kids are jumping all over me…which is hardly ever.

The chickens are laying five or six eggs a day and free range every day. Free ranging is wonderful for many reasons. They aren’t pooping in the chicken tractor all day, which means we don’t have to move it more than once a week. We haven’t even had to clean the inside area where the brood boxes are because they hardly spend any time in there, except to lay an egg. They spend most of the day hunting for bugs and worms in the field and rarely touch the chicken feed we give them, which can be quite expensive. We feed them scraps from the kitchen and I think they may enjoy pancakes more than my own kids. While they are certainly not the most cuddly pets, the kids get a kick out of them and I love their eggs, so win-win.

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